Mama Mia Spoofs
by TeekayStaples
Summary: As it says in my profile, I'm uploading some stuff on my hard drive while I'm away. This story is absolute shite. Just letting you know.
1. Chapter 1

**Why? Because it's frigging hilarious!**

"Den, you got any plans for Friday?" Lonny questioned hopefully.

"Yeah. Work."

"You could always come to my place…" Lonny hinted.

"Easy, Tiger. You're a little too young for me." Dennis replied, moving away from the bar.

"It's only seventeen years difference!"

Dennis chuckled, "You're so hot, teasin' me. So you're blue but I can't take a chance on a kid like you." Lonny went to undo the buttons on Dennis' shirt, but Dennis stepped back to put distance between them, "It's something I couldn't do."

"There's that look, in your eye. I can see in your face that your feelings are driving you wild!" Lonny objected.

"But you're only a child." Dennis responded. Lonny frowned.

"Well I can dance with you honey, if you think its funny, does your mother know that you're out?" Dennis teased.

"I'm thirty eight!" Lonny yelled indignantly.

"I can chat with you baby, flirt a little maybe, does your mother know that you're out?"

"Dennis!" Lonny wined. He scrambled over a barstool, and the bar, and leaned forward forcefully, but Dennis caught him by the shoulders.

"Take it easy. Take it easy. Better slow down, Lon. That's no way to go. Does your mother know?"

Dennis walked around to the other side of the bar. Lonny lunged, but lost his balance and fell face first onto the counter.

"Take it easy." Dennis told him as he pulled Lonny up by the suspenders, "Take it easy. Try to cool it Lon. That's no way to go. Does your mother know?"

Lonny growled forcefully, leapt over the bar again, and pressed Dennis up against the wall.

"I can see, what you want." Lonny insisted.

"But you seem pretty young to be searching for that kind of fun." Dennis responded, pushing Lonny back ever so slightly as he did so, "So maybe I'm not the one."

"But, but-"

"You're so cute. I like your style. And I know what you mean when you give me a flash of that smile."

Lonny grinned.

"But you're only a child."

"Stop saying that! I'm a grown man for Christssake!"

"Does your mother know that you're out?"

"DENNIS!" Lonny yelled in frustration, "Stop it! I'm trying to tell you something!"

Dennis quirked an eyebrow.

"Yes Lonny?"

"I love you!"

**I'll let you decide how it ends :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**The second instalment! I hope you guys aren't judging me so harshly for manipulating the characters into singing ABBA songs. As I've said before, this is absolute shite. **

Lonny watched with mild interest as Stacee flirted with three of his groupies. Constance was nowhere to be seen.

"Christ, I swear Stacee flirts with every girl in sight."

"So do you." Dennis pointed out.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't go wasting your emotions. Lay all your love on me."

"What?" Lonny questioned.

"I wasn't jealous before we met. Now everyone I see is a potential threat."

"Den, come on. I'm not that bad!"

"And I'm possessive it isn't nice. You've heard me say that smoking was my only vice."

Lonny nodded.

"But now it isn't true. Now everything is new." Dennis stepped forward and placed his hands on Lonny's cheeks, "And all I've learned, was overturned. I beg of you-"

Constance burst through the doors of the Bourbon in a rage and glared at Stacee.

"Don't go wasting your emotions. Lay all your love on me! Don't go sharing your devotions."

"Lay all your love on me." Dennis interrupted.

"It was like shooting a sitting duck." Lonny admitted, "A little small talk a smile and baby I was stuck."

Dennis smirked, "I still don't know what you've done to me. A man should never fall so easily."

"I feel a kind of fear, when I don't have you near." Lonny slipped away from Dennis' hands and walked behind him, "Un-satisfied, I skip my pride."

"I beg you dear!" Constance yelled, "Don't go wasting your emotions, lay all your love on me. Don't go sharing your devotions. Lay all your love on me."

The groupies left, leaving Stacee standing before Constance alone.

"I've had a few little love affairs. They didn't last very long and they've been pretty scarce." Stacee insisted.

"I used to think I was sensible. It makes the truth even more incomprehensible!" Constance yelled angrily.

"Everything is new. But everything is you." Stacee grabbed Constance's hands, "All I've learned, was overturned. What can I do?"

"Don't go wasting your emotions. Lay all your love on me!" Constance told him, dropping his hands and walking away.

"Don't go sharing your devotions. Lay all your love on me." Dennis said as he turned and grabbed Lonny by the back of his suspenders. Lonny grinned. Dennis was adorable when he was jealous.

"Don't go wasting your emotions. Lay all your love on me."


	3. Chapter 3

**The third instalment. Slightly AU since Constance and Stacee aren't together but Constance is at the Bourbon room. Friend of Sherrie's? I dunno. You decide.**

Dennis frowned. He was sitting at the desk in the office, sorting through taxes.

"Alright Den?" Lonny asked as he sat down on the couch.

"More taxes."

"Oh. Well, we can afford it. Can't we?"

"Yeah. But I won't have any money left over."

Constance stood in the Bourbon with Sherrie.

"I don't have enough money for anything anymore." Constance complained, "This job doesn't pay as well as it used to."

Dennis buried his face in his hands, "I work all night, I work all day. I pay the bills I have to pay."

"Ain't it sad?" Lonny said with a smile.

"And still there never seems to be a single penny left for me."

"That's too bad." Lonny replied.

"So what are you gonna do about this money problem?" Sherrie asked Constance.

"In my dreams, I have a plan. If I got me a wealthy man, I wouldn't have to work at all I'd fool around and have a ball." Constance replied dreamily.

"Money, money, money. Must be funny, in a rich man's world." Dennis muttered as he got up from the desk.

"Money, money, money. Always sunny, in a rich man's world." Constance said with a sigh.

"All the things I could do…"

"If I had a little money!" Constance said sadly, "It's a rich man's world."

"A man like that is hard to find." Sherrie pointed out.

"But I can't get him off my mind!" Constance yelled.

"And if he happens to be free?" Sherrie questioned.

"Oh. I guess he wouldn't fancy me." Constance said sadly.

"I must leave, I have to go, to Las Vegas, or Monaco." Dennis decided as he left the office.

"Can I come?" Lonny asked.

"I'll win a fortune in a game."

"Our lives would never be the same!" Lonny said excitedly.

"Money, money, money. Must be funny, in a rich man's world."

"Money, money, money. Always sunny, in a rich man's world."

"All the things we could do!" Lonny said happily, "If we had a little money."

"It's a rich man's world." Dennis responded.

Stacee walked through the door of the Bourbon and saw Constance. Sherrie dropped the tray she was holding and stared. Constance stood there in dis belief.

"Um, uh…" She swallowed nervously.

"I'm Stacee." Stacee said softly.

"C-Constance."

"Constance? Could you do me a favour?"

"A-Anything."

"Could you meet me in my dressing room?"

"S-sure…"


	4. Chapter 4

**The fourth instalment! Should I do a dancing queen chapter? Lonny's big solo… :D**

Constance turned and sat on the edge of the stage. She'd just had a fight with Stacee. He'd gone out with a couple of band mates to calm down, and Constance was left alone in the Bourbon.

Dennis sat down next to her, barely acknowledging her presence. He clearly had something on his mind, but Constance didn't ask what. She had her own problems.

Lonny ran over and sat down between them, the usual bundle of energy.

"What are we talking about?"

Dennis grunted, Constance stayed silent.

"Come on. What's up?"

"Which one of us are you asking?" Constance questioned.

"Both of you."

"Stacee and I had a fight."

Lonny frowned, "Are you ok?"

Constance shook her head, "I don't think it's the fixable kind of fight."

"Oh."

"I just keep thinking about all the things I should have said. And I keep thinking about all we've been through. What's your problem Dennis?" She asked half-heartedly.

"My ex-wife called."

"Oh." Lonny said stiffly, "What does she want? More money?"

Dennis shook his head, "I'm actually not sure what she wanted. She was just reminiscing. It got me thinking."

"About?" Lonny asked nervously.

"I can still recall, our last summer. I still see it all."

"The walks along the Seine." Constance said dreamily.

"Laughing in the rain." Dennis added, "Our last summer. Memories that remain."

Lonny smiled. He loved it when Denis reminisced. He got a look about him that Lonny adored.

"We made our way along the river and we sat down in the grass, by the Eiffel tower." Constance remembered fondly.

"Was this when you two went to France?" Lonny asked. Constance nodded.

"I was so happy we had met." She muttered.

"It was the age of no regrets." Dennis said thoughtfully, "Oh yes. Those crazy years that was the time, of the Flower-Power."

"But underneath, we had a fear of flying." Constance cringed, thinking of that god awful plane trip.

"Of growing old. A fear of slowly dying." Dennis frowned, "We took a chance. Like we were dancing our last dance."

"I can still recall, our last summer. I still see it all. In the tourist jam, round' the Notre Dame."

"Our last summer, walking hand in hand." Dennis smiled and took Lonny's hand in his.

"Paris restaurants, our last summer, morning croissants."

"Living for the day, worries far away. Our last Summer. We could laugh and play."

"And now you're working in a club. The business man, the Arsenal fan, and your name is Dennis." Lonny said with a smile.

"How dull it seems." Dennis replied glumly.

"Yet you're the hero of my dreams." Lonny insisted.

"I can still recall, our last summer. I still see it all. In the tourist jam, round' the Notre Dame."

"Our last summer, walking hand in hand."

"I can still recall, our last summer. I still see it all. Walks along the Seine."

"Laughing in the rain."

"Our last summer. Memories that remain."


	5. Chapter 5

**The others haven't been entirely Mama Mia-esque, but this one is.**

"Constance!" Sherrie yelled, "You'll never guess what I found." Sherrie had been rummaging through some of the boxes in the office, and had come across something she didn't even know existed.

"What is it?" Constance asked. She was sitting at the bar watching Arsenal practise for tonight's gig.

"Lonny's journal!" Sherrie said excitedly, she went to open it, but Constance stopped her.

"You can't read that! It's probably private!"

"Come on, I'm curious!" Constance sighed and allowed her to open the book.

"This isn't right." Constance replied, "I feel guilty already."

"Honey, honey, how he thrills me. Ah-huh. Honey, honey."

"That's what it says?"

"Honey, honey. Nearly kills me. Ah-huh. Honey, honey."

"Who's he talking about?" Constance asked.

Sherrie shrugged and turned the page, "I heard about him before, I wanted to know some more. Now I know what they mean, he's a love machine! Oh he makes me dizzy!" Sherrie laughed, "I don't believe this! Honey, honey. Let me feel it,ah-huh. Honey, honey."

"Oh dear god." Constance cringed.

"Honey, honey. Don't conceal it. Ah-huh. Honey, honey."

"We should really stop reading this."

"The way that you kiss goodnight, the way that you hold me tight. I feel like I wanna sing, when you do your, THING!"

They both burst out laughing.

"I can't believe this! You don't think he's talking about Dennis do you?"

"Honey, honey, touch me baby. Ah-huh. Honey, honey. Honey, honey, hold me baby, Ah-huh. Honey, honey. You look like a movie star, but I know just who you are. And honey to say the least, you're a dog-gone beast!"

"Sherrie, we need to stop reading this. Please."

"Honey, honey, how you thrill me. Ah-huh. Honey, honey. Honey, honey, nearly kills me. Ah-huh. Honey, honey. I heard about you before. I wanted to know some more. Now I know what they mean, he's a love machine."

"It's actually pretty good. He should be a songwriter."

"There's more."

"Do I wanna hear it?"

"Dear god, I've really fallen for him. Hard. He's just too bloody perfect. I never thought I'd be so lucky. Jesus Christ, I'm in love with Dennis Dupree. And he's in love with me. Somebody up there, down there, wherever, likes me."

Sherrie smiled.

"Dennis! Have you seen my jour- I mean, my important book with all the concert dates in it?" Lonny called from somewhere in the office.

"Haven't seen it." Dennis replied.

"Sherrie, when you were cleaning up, did you come across a black note book with my name on it?"

"Yeah!"

"Where did you put it?"

"I'm holding it now!"

Lonny bolted down the stairs and snatched the book out of Sherrie's hands.

"What are you doing?! That's private! Did you read any of it?"

Sherrie shrugged.

"A couple of pages. Its good."

"Its personal!"

"Whatever you say, honey."

Lonny turned bright red and stormed off towards the office.

**Geez. This one nearly killed me! I dunno if Lonny would actually keep a diary/journal/song writing book. I'd love to read some of it…**


End file.
